you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
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I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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