people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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