Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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