Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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