she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
