In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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