tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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