i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Im part way to drunk.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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