'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
