I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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