guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
