I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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