It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
