it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
