i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I did not marry a roomba.
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