Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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