his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
