I want to walk on stilts...naked
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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