I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
