Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
