I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
