trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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