When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
