it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
