I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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