guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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