Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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