He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
