i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
