I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
