do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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