Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How external is "for external use only"?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
