I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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