HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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