I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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