How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I love you. Go after that dick
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