three words: i give head
three words: not that well
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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