4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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