Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
