we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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