I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize