my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
