just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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