ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
