he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
