we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
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I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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