If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
sex in a hospital.. check
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
