He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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