The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
