You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
