I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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