new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize