I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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