I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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