your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
