With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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