My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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