i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
