well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
