we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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