Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
