at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
