Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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