i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
