then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize