Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
